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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29001924">i lie naked and pure with intentions to cleanse you and take you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxBBadperson/pseuds/MxBBadperson'>MxBBadperson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bullying, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Masochism, Obsessive Behavior, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:15:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,886</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29001924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxBBadperson/pseuds/MxBBadperson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>‘I wouldn’t have to do that if you just came with me. If you just noticed at me,’ Dirk said. Karkat’s arm moved. His palm struck Dirk’s cheek. Dirk’s head snapped sideways. Karkat panted. He stared at Dirk. His eyes widened. What did he just *do*?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i lie naked and pure with intentions to cleanse you and take you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>from friend: Rich kid Dirk and older full ride scholarship Karkat. Dirk is an asshole bully that has a crush on Karkat but it manifests 😳 kinda…violently? And Karkat is afraid of retaliating because he’s on a scholarship and Dirk never lets him forget it. But one day he’s just fed up (maybe near his graduation idk idk the setting could really be anything tbh) and he roughs him up a little but turns out dirk is into it and then Karkat realizes he is too! 😳</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karkat pulled down his hood as he walked through the school.  A few people turned to him. Karkat leveled his scowl at them and they turned away. These rich kids. They should be used to what he was wearing by now. He had been here for two years. And they won’t see him again.</p>
<p>Karkat walked out of the school. He walked to a bench farthest from it and sat down. He set his bag down. He opened and took out his lunchbox. A hand came down to take it. Karkat clenched his jaw. ‘Dirk,’ he said coldly.<br/><br/>Dirk sat down across him. He looked at the lunchbox. It was all plastic, yellow and with spot where the utensils can slide into. 'This is a new one. How much did it cost?’<br/><br/>'None of your business,’ Karkat muttered. He reached for it. Dirk turned away. He had done this ever since he had found out he brought lunch but Karkat still had to try. 'Give it back,’ Karkat growled.<br/><br/>Dirk stared at Karkat. 'Only if you ask nicely,’ he said. Karkat clenched his jaw. He could do it. He could hit him right now. Karkat stood up and marched away. He was so close to the end. He couldn’t lose the scholarship now.<br/><br/>It didn’t take long for Dirk to catch up to him. He grabbed Karkat’s wrist. Dirk pulled Karkat close. Karkat looked up at him, at those stupid anime shades. 'Where are you going? Did you think you can lose me that easily?’ Dirk said quietly.<br/><br/>'I do actually,’ Karkat hissed. He was so close to the end. Strider was fourteen when he had arrived at this school. He had been a pain in his fucking ass these past two years.  <br/><br/>'Yeah, where are you going to go? Back to your sorry hive and your sorry life? Waste all of what <em>I </em>gave you?’ Dirk asked.<br/><br/>Karkat snorted. 'You didn’t give me *anything*. Your family did. And going back to my “sorry life” than deal with you for any longer.’ He moved his wrist away but it didn’t budge. Dirk had it in a tight grip. ’*Let me go*,’ Karkat said through clenched teeth.<br/><br/>'No, I won’t,’ Dirk said. He wrapped an arm around Karkat’s shoulders. Karkat tensed. He didn’t shrug it off. 'You’re really so pathetic that you’ll go back to being worthless. Let’s get something to eat,’ Dirk declared. He turned towards the school and walked towards it. Karkat was helpless against it. He stared resolutely ahead. He was so close to the end. He couldn’t give up now. All he had to do was tolerate it for a few weeks. He had already tolerated this fucking asshole for two years. He could handle it.<br/><br/>Dirk went to a bench in front of it. Karkat could do nothing but to sit down next to him. Dirk moved his arm away and Karkat breathed out shakily. 'You can eat at the cafeteria you know. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>'I don’t want to,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>'It’s better than what you cooked,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat turned to him. 'If cafeteria food is better than mine then you don’t have to eat it.’ He reached for his lunchbox. Dirk fended off Karkat’s hand. 'No, it’s all mine. Everything you have is all mine. Even you.’<br/><br/>Karkat snorted. 'In your dreams, Strider.’<br/><br/>'It’s Dirk,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Strider was two years younger than him and he was more pompous than fellow sixteen year olds because of everything he had. He was smart, handsome and athletic. 'I’ll call you that when you’ve done something important,’ Karkat retorted.<br/><br/>Dirk curled his hand around Karkat’s wrist. He yanked him closer. A sound of surprise escaped Karkat. 'I’ll have you call me by name someday,’ Dirk murmured.<br/><br/>Karkat met his eyes through his shades. 'If that ever happens, consider me completely paid off,’ he hissed. Karkat picked up his lunch and stood up. He went to the school, walking as casually as he could. He entered it. There was no place he could really hide from Dirk, Dirk knew all of his classes and knew where his room was. There really was only one place he could hide in. Karkat sighed. He went to the restrooms.<br/><br/>He went into a stall, locking the door. He lowered the toilet seat, took out tissues from his bag and laid them down. Karkat hanged his bag on the hood on the door then sat down. He took the utensils out of its slot then out of its tube bag and unwrapped the tissue around it. He opened the lunchbox. He dug in.<br/><br/>The door opened. There were footsteps. Karkat didn’t eat faster. Dirk couldn’t come in, he didn’t need to. Dirk leaned against the stall door. 'There’s a party at my house on tomorrow night. You’re coming over and I’ll get your suit ready.’<br/><br/>Karkat kept eating. There was no use saying anything. Strider would force him to go. He and his family would parade him around. Poor little mutantblood rejected by the fancy troll-run schools so of course they have to swoop in and give him a scholarship, aren’t we great? And of course Strider would want him there, he’d go on about with that bullshit about owning him.<br/><br/>Karkat finished eating. He closed the lunchbox. He wrapped the utensils in a tissue, put in the tube bag and put it back in its slot. He put it back in his bag. Karkat took out his phone and headphones. He glanced at the battery. He had enough. He plugged in the headphones and settled in. Strider could talk as much as he want, Karkat wouldn’t be able to hear it. The lunchbreak passed.<br/><br/>Karkat glanced at his watch. It was cheap electronic one with the gray plastic straps. Strider had called it ugly and ordered him to throw it away but Karkat didn’t budge. He stood up. It was a few minutes before the bell.<br/><br/>He put all the tissues into the trash can. He took his bag off the book then unlocked the stall door. He pushed it open. He stepped forward. Karkat looked up at Dirk. 'I will *never* belong to you,’ Karkat hissed, he lifted his chin, 'I’d rather kiss someone who just threw up before saying I belong to you.’ Dirk’s expression was impassive. It shifted. Still impassive but now furious.<br/><br/>Dirk stepped forward. '<em>Don’t ever say that again</em>,’ he growled.<br/><br/>'You can’t stop me from saying it again,’ Karkat stated. He stepped forward, looking into Strider’s eyes through those stupid fucking anime shades. 'I would rather kiss someone who just threw up before saying I belong to you,’ Karkat repeated slowly.<br/><br/>Dirk’s hand moved. Karkat didn’t flinch. Dirk’s fist slammed against the wood on the next stall, right next to Karkat’s head. The sound echoed in the restroom. 'You are never saying it ever again,’ Dirk said, ’<em>and you will never kiss anyone.’<br/><br/></em>Karkat snorted derisively. 'You can’t stop me,’ he said softly, 'and you never will.’<br/><br/>'Whoever you kiss<em>, I will make their life miserable,</em>’ Dirk promised.<br/><br/>'I’d like to see you try,’ Karkat said. He walked past Dirk, banging his shoulder against his. They both went back to their classes. The bell rang.<br/><br/>The rest of the day passed by. Before Dirk could reach him, Karkat went to the restrooms. He sat down and did his homework. No one would come looking for him, no one would ask him to hang out with them. Strider had either distracted or scared them off. There was Dave, Rose, Roxy, Jane and Jake but they didn’t come close to him enough. So it was just Strider. No one would yell at him to get out of the restroom stall either or Strider would punch them. Karkat would have preferred that someone yell at him.<br/><br/>He finished his homework and put them away. He set his shoes on the edge of tissue-covered toilet seat. He set his chin on his knees. He didn’t want to go back to his dormitory room. Strider would be there and he couldn’t kick him out. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t sleep here. Karkat sighed and stood up. He put all the tissues in the trashcan. A part of his budget was spent on tissues. He took his bag from the hook. But that would stop soon. He was so close to the end.<br/><br/>Karkat went to the dormitories. His mouth set into a line. Poor little mutantblood, get this place to sleep in so you won’t have to spend time going to and back from your hive. He took out the keycard from his pocket and opened the door. He put his bag down on beanbag. 'Get out,’ Karkat ordered.<br/><br/>'No,’ Dirk answered. Karkat kicked off his shoes then took off the school blazer. It was the only part of the uniform he had. He had worn various long-sleeves shirts under it with torn or patched-up jeans and faded shoes. 'I brought dinner,’ Dirk said, 'I expect a thank you by the way.’<br/><br/>Karkat’s lip curled. 'Thank you, Mr. Strider. I don’t know what I would have done without you deciding to be *so* nice to me,’ he said mockingly. He turned around. Dirk was sitting on the bed. The school had offered a recuperacoon but he had refused. 'Happy,’ Karkat asked flatly.<br/><br/>'No,’ Dirk answered. Karkat snorted. He went to the bed but sat down next to it on the floor. Dirk looked at him. 'Aren’t you gonna eat?’<br/><br/>'No,’ Karkat said flatly. He’ll eat something later after Strider left or fell asleep.<br/><br/>There was the quiet creak of the bed and Dirk was standing above him. Dirk knelt down. His hand hovered above Karkat’s cheek. Karkat scowled and turned his hand away. 'Don’t touch me,’ Karkat snapped.<br/><br/>Dirk let his hand fall. 'You should eat,’ he said.<br/><br/>'Why do you care?’ Karkat asked.<br/><br/>'Of course I care, you’re mine,’ Dirk answered simply. Karkat snorted. 'If you’re not gonna eat then I’ll spoon feed you.’<br/><br/>'No, you won’t,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>'Yes, I will. You can’t take care of yourself so <em>I</em> have to do it,’ Dirk declared.<br/><br/>Karkat turned his head to glare up at Dirk. 'Fine,’ he growled. He sat up. Dirk handed him the plate and Karkat took it begrudgingly. He ate. The food was good as always but Karkat didn’t want to like or enjoy it. Going back to worse food sounded like a *dream*.<br/><br/>Dirk picked up the fork, put some food on it and held it up. Karkat scowled at it. 'Open up,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat gritted his teeth. ’*No*,’ he growled. He ate quickly. He finished eating. He set the plate aside, glaring up at Dirk. 'Finished. Now *go away*,’ Karkat snapped.<br/><br/>'You already know I won’t so you should stop saying that,’ Dirk said, 'I brought your suit.’<br/><br/>Karkat lied down on the floor. He rolled over away from Dirk. 'That’s great. Thank you, Mr. Strider,’ he said sarcastically.<br/><br/>Dirk lied down next to Karkat. His knuckles touched Karkat’s cheek. Karkat’s scowl deepened. He shrugged it off. 'Be there or I’ll drag you there,’ Dirk said intently. He wasn’t joking. Once, he didn’t go to a Strider house party to instead walk around the city, Strider had somehow hunted him down then dragged him back to the dorms.<br/><br/>'Whatever,’ Karkat muttered. Dirk’s eyes narrowed behind his shades. He took them off. He rolled over, putting a hand next to Karkat’s body and his knees on either side. Karkat turned to look up at him. ’*Get off me*,’ he growled.<br/><br/>Dirk looked into his eyes. 'Be there or I’ll drag you there,’ he repeated.  <br/><br/>Karkat clenched his jaw. 'Fine,’ he muttered.<br/><br/>'You can’t get rid of me that easily,’ Dirk said, 'wherever you’re going to go, I’ll follow.’<br/><br/>'Why? You don’t have anything better to do? Because dragging around a worthless and pathetic,’ Karkat spat out the words, 'mutantblood around is the only thing that can brings you any joy?’<br/><br/>'No. I like to drag a worthless and pathetic mutantblood like you around because,’ Dirk lowered himself, his mouth was inches from Karkat’s, 'without me, there’s nothing important or special about you.’ Karkat shoved him off. He jumped to feet. 'You need me,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat laughed, loud and disbelieving. 'I don’t need *you* to be important or be special. The fact that I need or will ever need you is fucking *hilarious*. The sheer fucking *delusion* to say that.’ He turned sharply on his heel and walked away. He marched to the bathroom. ‘Keep dreaming, Strider!’ He shoved the door closed, locking it.<br/><br/>The knob tried to turn. It jingled. 'Karkat, come out,’ Dirk said. Karkat looked around. His eyes landed on the bathtub. He went to it and sat on the edge. The knob rattled. 'Karkat, come out,’ Dirk repeated. Karkat jumped. There was a thump. Karkat looked at the door confused. Was Strider trying to break down the door?<br/><br/>Karkat climbed into the bathtub. He curled up. Strider can break down the door all he wanted, his family’s the one that would pay for it. If the school would ask his family to pay at all. He stared at the bathtub’s side. It was boring to stay in here but it was better than being with *Strider*.<br/><br/>Karkat opened his eyes. He looked at the ceiling confused. This wasn’t the bathroom. Where the fuck was he? Karkat frowned. There was someone on him. Karkat looked down. Strider’s head was on his shoulder. Karkat shoved him away. Dirk fell off the bed. Karkat rolled over and closed his eyes. Dirk got back on the bed. He lied down next to Karkat, laying his hand on Karkat's back. This was where he was supposed to be.<br/><br/>Karkat woke up. He rolled over. That wasn’t a weird dream at all. Strider was still here. Strider had done that before. He had sneaked into his room and laid on his bed. He wasn’t ok with it but that didn’t matter to Strider. Karkat sighed. He would pick up Strider and put him aside if he could. There was nothing he wanted to do more. No, actually, there were other things he wanted to do.<br/><br/>Karkat stared at Dirk’s face. He was handsome. If he wasn’t such an asshole. Karkat got off the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. The door tilted sideways. He stopped. He looked closer at the door. Karkat’s eyes widened. Strider broke down the door?! He didn’t think he’d actually *do* it!<br/><br/>He shook his head. He’ll make the school deal with it. Karkat carefully opened it. He used the toilet then went back to bed. Karkat went back to sleep. Dirk stared at his face, laying a hand on Karkat’s cheek. He leaned closer. He pressed a kiss on Karkat’s lips.<br/><br/>Karkat woke up. He stared up at the ceiling. He really was awake. He sighed. He looked around. At least Dirk had left. He snorted. It must’ve been painful for him. He got off the bed and went to the bathroom. He took off his clothes then closed the shower door.<br/><br/>'I brought food,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat jumped. He whirled to face him. 'How long have you been here?!’<br/><br/>'Long enough,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>Karkat scowled but continued showering. He finished. He opened the shower door a crack, passing his hand through it. 'Towel,’ he snapped.<br/><br/>'No,’ Dirk replied. Karkat glared at him through the crack. Dirk didn’t move. Karkat opened the shower door wider. He marched out of the bathroom and to the dresser. There were black and red boxes on top of it.<br/><br/>Karkat knew that his shoes and suit were in the red boxed and Strider's were in the black ones. He ignored them. He opened the dresser, searching for a towel. A towel was draped over his shoulders. Karkat tensed. He closed the dresser. He pulled up the towel and rubbed his hair dry then dried himself. He could feel Strider’s eyes on him. He did this before, he did this before so many times. Karkat clenched his jaw. He shouldn’t do anything.<br/><br/>Karkat dressed. 'I brought food,’ Dirk repeated. Karkat thought about it. He went to look for the pack of granola bars he had stowed away. ‘They’re gone,’ Dirk said. Karkat scowled at him. ‘Eat,’ Dirk said. Karkat clenched his jaw. He went to his bag. He took out his phone and its charger. He charged it. He took out his husktop and another pair of headphones.<br/><br/>Karkat went to the other side of the room. He sat down on the floor and settled in. A minute later, Dirk sat down beside him. Karkat scowled but didn’t say anything. Strider would tell him when the family party would happen. Karkat watched a movie. He felt a weight on his shoulder. On the reflection on the husktop screen, Karkat saw Dirk’s head on his shoulder. Karkat scowled. He shuffled away from him. Dirk followed. He sat back down. Dirk’s hand came down on the husktop keyboard.<br/><br/>‘Don’t you have a bathroom door to fix,’ Karkat growled.<br/><br/>‘I only had to do that because you weren’t coming out,’ Dirk said simply. Karkat stared at the husktop screen. Of course he would fucking say that. His eyes landed on Dirk’s hand. Could he get away with slapping his hand away? Karkat didn’t. He set his husktop back on his crossed legs. Dirk moved his hand away. Karkat continued watching. The movie finished and he watched another one. Karkat spent the rest of few hours on the internet.<br/><br/>Dirk put his hands on the husktop keyboard. Karkat frowned. He pulled out a headphone bud. 'What,’ he asked flatly.<br/><br/>'The party happens in an hour,’ Dirk answered. Karkat sighed. He closed his husktop and Dirk moved his hand away. He put it aside then stood up. 'Your suit and shoes is on the dresser,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>'I know,’ Karkat muttered. He went to the dresser and took the the red boxes off it, going to the bathroom. Dirk followed. Karkat turned around to face him. Dirk had his suit to face him. 'Go change somewhere else,’ Karkat ordered.<br/><br/>'No,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>Karkat clenched his jaw. 'Open the door carefully,’ he ordered. Dirk stared at him. He went to the bathroom and lifted the door. He carefully set it aside. He looked at Karkat expectantly. Karkat walked in. He took of his clothes and changed. He did it slowly and carefully. He didn’t want to wrinkle any part of it. In a box were dark grey suit and a white button-up shirt and in the second box, a pair of dress shoes. Karkat knew for a fact that they would all fit. Dirk had gotten his measurements somehow. With them, a nice and what he knew was an expensive watch and an orange tie. Karkat left them and the shoes in their boxes.<br/><br/>He walked out of the bathroom. Strider could spens as much time as he wanted styling his hair, it wasn’t his problem. He went around the room. He picked up his keycard, phone and its charger, putting it in his pockets. He found his watch and a comb. He combed his hair then put on his cheap watch with the plastic straps. Karkat went to the door. He put on his shoes and waited, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms.<br/><br/>Dirk came out of the bathroom. His suit was black, his tie bright red and his shoes were gray. He stopped in front of Karkat. He stared at him. He raised his hand. It hovered in front of Karkat’s cheek. Karkat blinked. His eyes focused on Dirk’s hand. He stepped aside. ‘Come on,’ Karkat grumbled.<br/><br/>He opened the door. Dirk walked out. Karkat looked it. They walked out of the dormitory. There was a car out in front of it. It was of course, a nice expensive one. Dirk opened the passenger door. Karkat rolled his eyes and got in. Dirk sat down beside him, closing the door.<br/><br/>Dirk’s older brother was the driver. ‘Hey kid, hey Karkat,’ he greeted. Dirk smiled and Karkat nodded at him stiffly. Karkat looked out of window, tuning out the Striders. David watched through the rear-view mirror with fond amusement. He knew out of experience that Dirk was looking at Karkat. David turned back to the road and kept driving.<br/><br/>The car stopped in front a mansion gate. It opened. The car went through, stopping in front of the Strider house. ‘We’re here,’ David announced. Karkat blinked. He got of the car, Dirk following. David exited the car and locked it. They all went to the house. There were lights and Karkat could see people through the big windows. They entered the house, David going to a gathering of people. Karkat knew from experience that they were the rest of the Striders and all the Lalondes. Roxy’s face brightened as they approached. Everyone turned towards them.<br/><br/>Roxy hugged Karkat. Karkat tensed then relaxed. He awkwardly patted Roxy’s back. Roxy stepped back and Dave patted his shoulder while Rose smiled. Karkat nodded but didn’t step back. Dirk’s brother called for attention. Everyone turned to him.<br/><br/>‘Thanks to everyone for coming,’ Dirk’s brother started. Karkat didn’t look down or away. It’s not as if he had a choice. Dirk would drag him here. ‘It’s been quite a few years,’ Dirk’s brother said, ‘and it’s gonna end. It’s sad but what can you do?’ His shrugged. Some chuckled. ‘The only thing is deal with it and try our best to go on.’ He rubbed the underside of his chin. ‘A big thanks to Mr. Vantas. He’s a ballin’ student and he’s made the Strider Scholarship worth taking. The scholarship will continue and I hope the next students it takes will as good as he is,’ he lifted his glass, ‘cheers.’<br/><br/>‘Cheers,’ Karkat murmured.<br/><br/>‘Cheers,’ people around them said.<br/><br/>Karkat breathed out. He looked around for the food. He saw a server and went to them. He picked a canapé from the tray. He looked around for a hiding spot. He went to the back of the house. There wasn’t any people here. He crouched down. He didn’t want to talk to anybody. He took out his phone. Dave had gave him the wi-fi password a long time ago.<br/><br/>Karkat plugged in the headphones. He watched videos. Dirk came to stand beside him. Karkat glanced up then looked away. He didn’t want to talk to him either. Dirk lowered himself slowly, putting tray down on the grass carefully. He unplugged the headphones. Sounds spilled out around them. 'Don’t ignore me,’ Dirk said into Karkat’s ear.<br/><br/>Karkat tucked his phone against his chest, raised his shoulders and scooted away. ‘What do you want?’ he snapped.<br/><br/>‘Got you food,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘I’ll eat later,’ Karkat muttered.<br/><br/>‘I know you’re hungry,’ Dirk said. Karkat’s scowl deepened. He *was* hungry. ‘Just eat,’ Dirk insisted.<br/><br/>‘No,’ Karkat answered. Dirk grabbed Karkat’s wrist. He yanked him close.<br/><br/>Karkat made a sound of surprise. He glowered up at him. ‘Let me go!’<br/><br/>‘No, I won’t,’ Dirk said intently, ‘you can’t take care of yourself so <em>I</em> have to take care of you.’<br/><br/>‘I *can* take care of myself! I just don’t want to do what *you* want me to do,’ Karkat answered.<br/><br/>‘Then <em>stop,</em>’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘And what? Let you do whatever you want?’ Karkat asked mockingly.<br/><br/>‘Yes, <em>yes</em>,’ Dirk raised his other hand to Karkat’s face, ‘let me do whatever I want.’<br/><br/>Karkat jerked his face away. ‘Not a chance,’ he hissed. He pulled his hand back. Dirk’s grip tightened. Karkat set other hand on Dirk’s chest and pushed. Dirk didn’t budge. Karkat looked into Dirk’s eyes through the shades. ‘Let me go,’ he growled.<br/><br/>‘I will if you eat,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat clenched his jaw. ‘Fine,’ he said through clenched teeth.<br/><br/>‘And you have to eat and drink it all and you won’t throw up later,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat breathed in. ‘Fine.’<br/><br/>Dirk let go of his wrist. He turned to the tray, picked it up and set it on his lap. He picked up a plate full of food. He handed it to Karkat. Dirk looked at him expectantly. Karkat took it. He ate quickly, doing his best not to choke. He set the plate down on the tray. Karkat picked up the glass. He took a sip. It was really cold orange juice. Karkat chugged it down. He lowered the glass, shivering and with a grimace. He put the glass on the tray. Karkat looked at Dirk. ‘Finished,’ he said flatly, ‘now leave me the fuck alone.’<br/><br/>‘You already know I won’t. Why do you keep saying that,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘Because it feels good to say,’ Karkat answered, ‘and maybe, it might actually get through that thick skull of yours and you’ll *finally* leave.’<br/><br/>‘I won’t and you already know that,’ Dirk stated.<br/><br/>‘Doesn’t stop me from hoping,’ Karkat said. He turned to his phone. He looked at Dirk. He held out his hand. ‘Give me back my headphones,’ he ordered. Dirk looked at him. He held it out. Karkat snatched it out his hand and plugged it in. He went back to watching. Dirk settled down beside him, waiting.<br/><br/>The minutes passed painfully slowly. Dirk didn’t want to wait but he had to. Karkat frowned down at his phone. He was getting tired. He paused the video, unplugged the headphones and after rolling them up, put it and the phone back to his pockets. He breathed out shakily.<br/><br/>Dirk laid his hand on Karkat’s back. Karkat shrugged it off. Dirk’s hand moved away but came back. Karkat looked at him. ‘What do you want?’ he demanded. He scoffed. ‘Why am I even asking, I know want you want.’<br/><br/>‘You don’t,’ Dirk said, ‘you never did.’  <br/><br/>‘Really? You don’t want to drag a worthless and pathetic mutantblood around to feel better about yourself?’ Karkat asked. ‘Then what do you want huh? To kick me around?’<br/><br/>‘No, I never wanted to kick you around,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>‘Really?’ Karkat asked, ‘because that’s all you ever do.’<br/><br/>‘I wouldn’t have to do that if you just came with me. If you just <em>noticed </em>at me,’ Dirk said. Karkat’s arm moved. His palm struck Dirk’s cheek. Dirk’s head snapped sideways. Karkat panted. He stared at Dirk. His eyes widened. What did he just *do*? Karkat slowly stood up. He staggered away. Dirk touched his cheek. It hurt but he didn’t mind it. He stood up and followed.<br/><br/>Karkat stumbled as he tried to his best to walk to front of the house. He frowned. Why was it so hard to walk? Why was it so hard to see? He teetered but an arm wrapped around his shoulders. ‘He got too much to drink,’ Dirk said to the people around him, ‘it’s my fault.’ He pulled Karkat closer. He steered him to the house. Karkat was helpless against it. They entered the house.<br/><br/>Karkat stumbled away from him. He slumped against the stair railing. ‘What did you do?’ Karkat demanded.<br/><br/>‘Your drink was a screwdriver,’ Dirk answered. Karkat frowned confused. ‘It had vodka in it,’ Dirk explained. He grabbed Karkat’s wrist and wrapped his other arm around Karkat’s waist. He pulled him up the stairs.<br/><br/>Karkat slumped against the wall next to a door. ‘You fucker,’ he hissed, ‘you waste chute kissing *fucker*.’<br/><br/>Dirk opened his bedroom door. He pulled Karkat into the room. Karkat went. Dirk looked the door. Karkat backed away. Where was he? Dirk turned around. ‘You were right,’ he started. Tonight was the night everything would come spilling out. Karkat frowned. What the fuck was Strider talking about? ‘You’ve always been right. You don’t belong to me. You never belonged to me.’<br/><br/>‘What?’ Karkat mumbled.<br/><br/>‘You can’t get rid of me,’ Dirk declared. He was walking towards Karkat. ‘I’ll follow you wherever you go. <em>I won’t let you leave me</em>,’ Dirk said intently. He took off his suit jacket. ‘And I’m wrong.’<br/><br/>‘What?’ Karkat asked. He frowned, grasping for words. ‘Are you admitting that you’re wrong?’ he asked slowly.<br/><br/>‘I am,’ Dirk said, ‘I was wrong. I like to drag a worthless and pathetic mutantblood around because I want you.’ There it was. He had finally said it and he could never take it back. ‘I had to drag you around because that was the only way I could keep you close. If I didn’t do that, you would have went to someone else. If I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t have noticed me.’ He stopped in front of Karkat.<br/><br/>Karkat’s eyes light up in rage. He grabbed the front of Dirk’s shirt. ‘Everything that happened to me, everything that you *did*,’ he yanked Dirk’s close, ‘was all because you,’ he spat out the word, ‘wanted *attention*.’<br/><br/>‘Yes,’ Dirk said. Karkat snarled. He slammed Dirk against the door. All breath rushed out of him. Karkat was incandescent with rage and Dirk had never seen him so beautiful. Karkat raised his fist and it collided against Dirk’s cheek. There was a burst of pain. Dirk gasped. Karkat punched him again. He punched him again. His fist met the wood. The sound of it echoed in the room. Karkat was gasping. He punched the door. Dirk grabbed his wrist. ‘Stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself,’ he said softly.<br/><br/>‘Why do you care?!’ Karkat growled.<br/><br/>‘Because I want you, I’ve always wanted you,’ Dirk answered. He breathed out. He could tasted blood. ‘You were right. You don’t belong to me and you don’t need me.’ He reached for his bright red tie. He untied it, unbuttoning the first three buttons of his shirt. Dirk held out the tie. ‘I’ve always belonged to you, I’ve always needed you.’<br/><br/>Karkat let go of Dirk’s shirt. Dirk slumped against the door. ‘Is this some sort of joke? Because it’s complete shit,’ Karkat hissed. Dirk reached for him. Karkat shook his head. He stumbled away.  The back of his shin hit the bed. He fell onto it. Dirk came to the bed. Karkat rolled over. He set his hand on the bed and pushed himself up. He sat up slowly. He looked up at Dirk. Dirk knelt down. His hand moved up. His hand hovered above Karkat’s cheek. He curled his around it. Karkat shrugged it off.<br/><br/>His hands flew up and he shoved Dirk away. Dirk returned. Karkat tried to move away. He fell back. Dirk followed him down. His hands moved. He unbuttoned Karkat’s suit jacket with shaking fingers. He fumbled but managed to get it. Dirk shoved the suit jacket off Karkat’s shoulders. Karkat struggled. He managed to get his hands up. He tried to shove Dirk away. He grabbed Karkat’s wrists. He wouldn’t have another chance, he had to take it. <br/><br/>Dirk pinned Karkat’s wrists down. ‘Let me go!’ Karkat shouted.<br/><br/>‘No, <em>no</em>. You can’t ignore me. Not this time,’ Dirk said intently. Karkat thrashed but couldn’t dislodge him. Dirk held on. Karkat slumped onto the bed panting. Dirk squeezed his wrists. He had managed to place himself between Karkat’s legs. He bent down till his mouth was inches from Karkat’s. ‘I want you,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat scowled up at him. ‘I don’t care.’ Dirk kissed him. Karkat stilled. His eyes widened. He bit down. Dirk hissed and moved away. He licked his lip. Karkat turned his head away. Dirk drank him in. There was a flush on his cheeks, chest heaving, his shirt rumpled and his suit jacket were down his arms. He looked like a <em>mess</em>. Dirk wanted him. He kissed Karkat’s cheek.<br/><br/>Dirk nosed down Karkat’s check. He kissed his jaw. He kissed Karkat’s throat. Karkat slammed his eyes shut. Dirk could hear his breath rattle out of him. ‘I don’t want *you*,’ Karkat hissed. Dirk clenched his jaw. He released one of Karkat’s wrist and put it under his chin.<br/><br/>Dirk turned Karkat’s head towards him. He slammed his lips against Karkat’s. Karkat made a sound of protest but Dirk didn’t hear it. He gripped Karkat’s wrist again then spread his knees. Karkat could do nothing but open his legs wider. Dirk’s lips were desperate and insistent. Karkat opened his mouth to protest. Dirk’s tongue dove in. Karkat bit down. Dirk broke the kiss but returned. It hurt but that made it <em>better</em>.<br/><br/>Dirk broke the kiss. He missed it already. He swallowed. ‘I meant it,’ he said, ‘whoever you kiss, I’ll make their life miserable. No one should come near you.’ He pressed his lips against Karkat’s cheek. ‘No one can touch you,’ he murmured against it.<br/><br/>Karkat looked up at Dirk. ‘What-what are you talking about?’ he mumbled. The anger had dimmed, leaving him tired and sleepy.<br/><br/>‘<em>No one can have you,</em>’ Dirk said intently. He kissed Karkat’s cheek. Karkat frowned. What was happening? What was he saying? Karkat fell asleep. Dirk stared down at him. He pressed his lips against Karkat’s in almost a kiss. He leaned back to stare at Karkat. He liked doing this too. He sat down beside him. He took Karkat’s arms out of his jacket, pushing him up to take it from under him. He threw it aside. He can get him another one. He had so many things to give him.<br/><br/>Dirk got off the bed. He picked Karkat’s ankle gently and took off a show. He did the same to the other foot. He returned to his place, leaning against the headboard. Dirk tucked a lock of Karkat’s hair behind his hair. He laid his knuckles against Karkat’s cheek. He would have to say it again. He took off his shades, laid down next to him, staring at him till he fell asleep.<br/><br/>Karkat scowled. He rolled over and buried his face into a pillow. Fuck, his head hurt. He sighed, scowl fading away. Whatever he was laying on was really soft. He frowned. His dorm bed wasn’t this soft and neither was the couch he sometimes slept on back at his hive. Karkat raised his head. He looked around slowly. There was puppets, some with long noses, records, a mixing table and computer. His frown deepened. Where the fuck was he? Karkat rolled off the bed. He hit the floor with heavy <em>thump</em>. He winced, that did *not* make the room spin any less.<br/><br/>Hands came down. They pulled him up. Karkat slammed his eyes shut. Yeah, definitely didn’t make the room spin any less. Karkat shrugged the hands off and stumbled away. He opened his eyes. He looked up. He was in Dirk’s room. Well that explained where he was and the same time, completely fucking didn’t. Karkat winced. ‘How did I get here?’ he managed to ask.<br/><br/>‘I dragged you here,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>Karkat stared at him. ‘Why?’ He closed his eyes, hand coming up to cover them. ‘I already know. To torture me,’ he muttered. He sat down on the floor. He shouldn’t stay but fuck his head hurt, his mouth felt weird and *the room was still spinning*.<br/><br/>Dirk laid his hand on Karkat’s back. ‘I’ll go get you some water,’ he said quietly. Karkat didn’t say anything. Dirk was leaving? That sounded great. The door closed. Karkat laid down on his side. Maybe he could take a fucking nap. If that fucking worked. Dirk knelt down beside him. ‘Here,’ he said softly. Karkat scowled and turned away. ‘It’s cold water and painkillers,’ Dirk said. He shook Karkat gently. Karkat’s scowl deepened. ‘It might make you feel better,’ Dirk said. <br/><br/>Karkat rolled over to face him. He cracked an eye open. He stared at the glass of water. There was condensation on it. It looked really good. Karkat sat up slowly. He took it and drank. It was cold and fuck it was amazing. Dirk held up a pill. ‘Painkiller.’ Karkat took it, putting it in his mouth and swallowing it with some water. He drank the rest then held out the glass.<br/><br/>‘Leave me alone,’ Karkat mumbled. Dirk took the glass, setting it aside. Karkat lied back down. Minutes passed. Maybe, he would go back to sleep.<br/><br/>Dirk swallowed. He had to get this out or it’ll fester under his skin. ‘I brought you here,’ he managed to say quickly.<br/><br/>Karkat scowled. So much for going back to sleep. ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ he muttered.<br/><br/>‘I brought you here because I want you to be here,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘To torture me, I know,’ Karkat muttered.<br/><br/>‘No, not that. It was never that,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘What are you talking about?’ Karkat asked. Maybe the painkiller would work fast enough so he can get out of here. Why was he even *talking* to Strider? Nothing would come out of it.<br/><br/>‘I never wanted to torture you,’ Dirk admitted.<br/><br/>Karkat’s scowl deepened. He rolled over. He looked up at Dirk. He tried to gather his thoughts. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said slowly, ‘that’s all you did.’<br/><br/>Dirk looked at the floor, avoiding Karkat’s eyes. ‘I know,’ he said quietly.<br/><br/>Karkat breathed out. He clenched his fists. He shouldn’t do anything. ‘Why are you telling me this? It took you this long to realize it? And what am I supposed to do with it?’ Karkat asked desperately. He sat up quickly, no longer dizzy. He was buoyed by anger.<br/><br/>Dirk breathed out. ‘I don’t know,’ he admitted.<br/><br/>Karkat grabbed the front of Dirk’s shirt and dragged him down. ‘Am I supposed to just forgive you?’ he hissed. He frowned. ‘You didn’t even actually apologize,’ he snapped.<br/><br/>Dirk’s hands came up to curl around Karkat’s hands. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said softly.<br/><br/>‘And I’m supposed to forgive you?’ Karkat asked again.<br/><br/>‘Yes,’ Dirk answered simply.<br/><br/>Karkat looked at him. ‘You arrogant, shameless, *fucking* awful bastard.’ He shook Dirk. ‘It’s not that easy. You hear me. It’s not that easy!’<br/><br/>‘I know that,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘Do you?’ Karkat challenged.<br/><br/>‘I do,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>‘That’s great, good for you,’ Karkat said sarcastically. He let the front of Dirk’s shirt go. ‘Don’t come anywhere near me again.’<br/><br/>‘No,’ Dirk said. His hands moved. He grabbed Karkat’s wrists. ‘I won’t leave you. You can’t leave me,’ he said desperately.<br/><br/>‘Let me go,’ Karkat said through clenched teeth.<br/><br/>‘No, I can fix this. If you let me,’ Dirk said intently.<br/><br/>‘”Let” you?’ Karkat asked. ‘I’m not “letting” you *anywhere* near me.’ Dirk’s grip tightened.<br/><br/>‘I mean it, I do want to fix this,’ Dirk said eagerly. He released one of Karkat’s wrists. He reached for his shades. He took it off. Dirk looked into Karkat’s eyes. ‘<em>Please let me fix this</em>.’<br/><br/>Karkat stared at him. What was happening? Dirk’s eyes were painfully eager. ‘It’s not that easy,’ Karkat repeated.<br/><br/>‘I know,’ Dirk answered. He released Karkat’s other wrist. He stood up and looked around. It was around here somewhere. Karkat got to his feet slowly, everything hurt. He should leave now before Strider dragged him back. He stumbled towards the door. The room was still spinning. Dirk found what he was looking for. He turned to Karkat. He laid his hand on Karkat’s wrist.<br/><br/>Despite himself, Karkat stopped. Dirk held out his bright red tie. Karkat looked at it. Dirk breathed in. He had done this last night but he still felt so nervous. But he had to do this, <em>he had to</em>. He breathed out.<br/><br/>‘Everything I did,’ Dirk started, ‘was to keep you close because you would have went to someone else and you wouldn’t have noticed me.’ Karkat frowned. ‘And I did all that because I want you,’ Dirk confessed. Karkat’s eyes widened. ‘You don’t belong to me, you never belonged to me.’ Dirk held out the bright red tie. ‘But I’ve always wanted you. I’ve always belonged to you, I’ve always needed you.’ Dirk knelt down.<br/><br/>He pressed his cheek against Karkat’s thigh, looking up at him. His expression was painfully hopeful. ‘If you let me fix this, I want to keep belonging to you,’ he whispered.<br/><br/>Karkat stared at him. What was he supposed to say to that? What can he say? What should he do now? He looked away. Dirk could be lying. But wasn’t he just humiliating himself? Fuck. Dirk looked so fucking *earnest*. He could be lying. He swallowed. This was working, somehow, *someway* this was fucking working. Karkat let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes.<br/><br/>He was doing this? He was actually fucking *doing* this? ‘Ok,’ he said quietly, ‘I’ll give you a chance.’ There, fucking said it. Karkat opened his eyes. He looked at Dirk. ‘But you only have one chance so you better not fucking mess it up.’<br/><br/>Dirk smiled. Karkat set his mouth in a line. This was one of the rare moments he had ever seen him smile. He looked handsome and that fucking *hurt*. ‘If you hurt me, you’re done. No other chance and no matter how much you beg, you’ll never get another one,’ Karkat said intently.<br/><br/>‘I understand,’ Dirk replied. Karkat looked at the bright red tie. He took it. It slipped between Dirk’s fingers. Dirk didn’t stand up. Karkat looked at him consideration. He didn’t look bad like this. ‘I promise to make it up to you,’ Dirk declared.<br/><br/>‘Don’t make a promise you can’t keep,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>‘I’m not. Whatever I have to, I will,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>There was a bruise on Dirk’s cheek. Karkat touched it with his fingertips. ‘Did I do that?’ he asked.<br/><br/>‘Yes,’ Dirk replied.<br/><br/>Karkat’s eyes brightened. ‘I’ll do it again,’ he said.<br/><br/>‘I’d like that,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ Karkat asked.<br/><br/>‘Nothing. I just want you,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Something in Karkat shivered. He shouldn’t have that reaction to this. ‘Then I’ll take as much as I can from you,’ Karkat declared.<br/><br/>‘I’d like that,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>Karkat dug his fingers into the bruise. Dirk gasped. ‘I might leave you with nothing,’ Karkat said intently.<br/><br/>Dirk’s eyelashes fluttered. ‘I wouldn’t mind that,’ he managed to say. Karkat dug his fingers harder. Dirk shuddered, mouth falling open. Something dark curled in his gut. He looked at him with satisfaction.<br/><br/>‘Everything you’ve done, you’ll pay for,’ Karkat whispered.<br/><br/>‘I will. <em>I will. </em>No matter what, no matter how,’ Dirk promised.<br/><br/>‘Good,’ Karkat said, ‘don’t disappoint me.’ Dirk nodded. He moved his hand away from Dirk and stepped back. Dirk looked disappointed. He reached out for him. ‘I want something to eat,’ Karkat declared.<br/><br/>‘I’ll get you something. Anything you want,’ Dirk said. He got to his feet. Karkat blinked. There was something in his other hand. He looked at it. The bright red tie. He turned to Dirk and held it out. Dirk didn’t take it. ‘Keep it,’ he said. He swallowed. ‘Can I-’ Karkat looked at him. ‘Can I have a kiss?’ Dirk managed to ask.<br/><br/>Karkat frowned. A kiss? Isn’t it too much, too quickly? Strider should work for it. ‘Ask nicely,’ he said.<br/><br/>Dirk shivered. He should feel annoyed at this but the only thing he felt was <em>exhilarated</em>. ‘Please, can I have a kiss?’ he managed to ask.<br/><br/>Karkat stared at him. He shouldn't. He had to make him work for it. ‘Fine,’ he said. Dirk breathed out, shoulders relaxing. Karkat stepped closer. He got on his on the tip of his toes as Dirk bent down. Karkat kissed the bruise on Dirk’s cheek. He lowered himself down. He looked at Dirk. ‘You didn’t say where,’ he said.<br/><br/>Dirk looked at him. Oh. <em>Oh. </em>He didn’t feel annoyed at that either. It was good that Karkat kissed where he did. He had marked him. The bruise would fade but the throb of it, the hurt when he dug in it and the feeling of his lips pressed against it would remain. ‘If I ask, will you kiss me on the lips?’ Dirk asked.<br/><br/>Karkat thought about it. ‘If you beg,' he answered. Dirk swallowed. Fuck that sounded good. 'And if I want to,’ Karkat said slowly.<br/><br/>‘I’ll remember that,’ Dirk said softly. He had kissed Karkat when he was asleep before. They were sweet but the thought of kisses from Karkat now, asked for and allowed, tasted sweeter. He remembered something. ‘The tie,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘What about it?’ Karkat asked.<br/><br/>Dirk bared his neck. ‘Put it on me,’ he said softly.<br/><br/>Karkat stared at him. This felt important but he didn’t know *why*. Should he do it? He had already agreed to this, didn’t he? But that didn't mean he had to. Karkat stepped closer. He popped Dirk’s collar and brought the tie around it. He tied it with a frown of concentration. Dirk watched him. Karkat pushed up the tie, tightening it. He folded down Dirk’s collar then stepped back.<br/><br/>‘Done,’ he murmured. Karkat considered it. He nodded. He did tie it correctly. A nervousness settled in. Karkat looked away. Why was he nervous? He shouldn't be. ‘I’m hungry,’ Karkat declared, ‘I’m going to get something to eat.’ He walked away. He went around the room, searching for his phone, headphones, dorm room keycard and charger. He then walked out of the room. Dirk followed.<br/><br/>Karkat opened the door and went downstairs. He made his way through the house. ‘The kitchen is over there,’ Dirk pointed out.<br/><br/>Karkat knew that. ‘I wasn’t going to the kitchen. I wanted to go outside.’ He sighed. ‘Is there food there?’<br/><br/>‘Yes. It’s after a party,’ Dirk answered.<br/><br/>Karkat went to the kitchen. Dirk’s brother, Dave and Roxy were there. They turned to them. Dirk’s brother nodded at them, Dave waved and Roxy smiled. Karkat nodded back. Dirk pulled out a dining chair. Karkat looked at it. He sat down. Roxy’s smile widened. Dirk sat down on the chair next to Karkat. ‘You want anything?’ Dirk’s brother asked.<br/><br/>‘Anything. I’m hungry,’ Karkat answered.<br/><br/>Dirk’s brother opened the fridge. He went to the table and set it down. It was a burger. Of course, none of them cooked. Karkat didn’t care. He picked it up, peeled the wrapping back and bit in. He devoured it a minute. Dave and Roxy set down food and juice. Karkat and Dirk dug in. Minutes later, Karkat finished eating. He folded each paper wrapper, piled them on top of each other and set it aside.<br/><br/>Karkat frowned in thought. ‘I’m going back to the dorms,’ he said.<br/><br/>‘You want me to drive you back there?’ Dirk’s brother asked.<br/><br/>Karkat thought about it. ‘Yeah, thanks,’ he answered. He pushed the chair back and stood up. He walked out of the Strider house, Dirk following. Karkat stopped. He turned around. ‘You’re not going with me,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>Dirk frowned. ‘You’re not leaving me,’ he said intently.<br/><br/>‘I’m not leaving you,’ Karkat said, ‘I’m just going back to the dorms. I have to think about this.’<br/><br/>‘So you can change your mind?’ Dirk asked.<br/><br/>‘Yeah,’ Karkat answered simply. Dirk's expression shifted. Something furious and desperate. Karkat stared at his face. It was fucking weird that he could tell, that this was happening and that he didn't want him to make that expression again. ‘Maybe,’ Karkat muttered. He sighed. ‘I’m not sure if I should be doing this. I’m not sure if I should be giving you a chance.’<br/><br/>‘You can’t take it back,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘I can! And maybe I will, you can’t stop me,’ Karkat replied.<br/><br/>‘I can’t but I can try changing your mind,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘You said you’ll do whatever you have to make it up to me,’ Karkat pointed out.<br/><br/>‘So you can give me a chance not so you can leave me,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘Then this is a part of it!’ Karkat said. He licked his lips. Dirk watched it with bright eyes. ‘This is a chance,’ Karkat said slowly, ‘for you to prove that you’re going to do whatever for a chance.’ He sighed. ‘I just need to think about this.’ He went to the car. Dirk watched him go. David opened the passenger door and Karkat got in the car. David looked at his brother. His expression was sympathetic. He got into the car. The engine rumbled and it drove away.<br/><br/>Karkat laid his head against the window, not really seeing the passing scenery. He heard a voice. He blinked. He looked at driver’s seat. ‘You okay there?’ Dirk’s brother repeated.<br/><br/>‘Fine,’ Karkat mumbled.<br/><br/>‘This is about Dirk,’ Dirk’s brother said. Karkat nodded. ‘You make him happy,’ Dirk’s brother said.<br/><br/>Karkat frowned. ‘Do I?’<br/><br/>‘It’s hard to tell but it’s there when you can finally see it. I know that he hasn’t been that good to you but he does appreciate the chance.’<br/><br/>‘Did he tell you that?’ Karkat asked.<br/><br/>‘No, I just see it,’ Dirk’s brother answered.<br/><br/>‘You’re saying this because you’re his brother,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>‘Yeah,’ Dirk’s brother said, ‘I want him to be happy.’<br/><br/>‘I don’t understand why he has to be happy with *me*,’ Karkat said, ‘he should have just picked someone else and leave me alone.’<br/><br/>‘He’d be angry at you if he ever heard you say that,’ Dirk’s brother stated.<br/><br/>‘He would but I don’t really care,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>‘He chose you and he likes you. He can’t just forget about it,’ Dirk’s brother said.<br/><br/>Karkat sighed. He shouldn't concede to his fucking point. ‘He can try. It’s not gonna kill him.’ He thought it over. ‘It isn’t that easy,’ he said softly.<br/><br/>‘It isn’t but he’s still willing to try isn’t he?’ Dirk’s brother asked.<br/><br/>‘You’re his brother, I shouldn’t be listening to you,’ Karkat said. But he would think about it. Fuck. The rest of the drive passed in silence. Karkat returned to staring out of the window. The car stopped in front of the dorms. ‘Thanks,’ he said.<br/><br/>‘No problem,’ Dirk’s brother said.<br/><br/>Karkat got out of the car. He walked up the short steps and into the dorms. He went to his room. He kicked off his shoes, going to his bed. He fell onto it. He took a pillow and hugged it. He rolled over. Karkat stared at the ceiling.<br/><br/>Should he really be giving Strider a chance? Strider didn’t deserve it but for some fucking reason he wanted to. If Strider did hurt him again, he’ll drop him. Karkat set his mouth into a line. He’ll make it harder on Strider so Strider can really prove that he meant it. If Strider hurt him again, he’ll drop him. No other chance and no looking back. That was good enough wasn’t it? Karkat sighed. Hopefully it was, hopefully he wouldn’t regret it. Karkat stared at the ceiling till he fell asleep.<br/><br/>He woke up slowly. He could feel eyes on him. Karkat sat up. He met Dirk’s eyes. ‘Did you decide?’ Dirk asked.<br/><br/>‘Yeah,’ Karkat answered. Dirk stepped forward. ‘Don’t,’ Karkat said quickly. Dirk didn’t take another step forward. ‘Ask,’ Karkat said. He swallowed. He sat up straighter. ‘Ask,’ Karkat ordered.<br/><br/>Dirk stared at him. It was frustrating that he couldn’t come close but it was exhilarating that Karkat was making him ask. ‘Can I come closer?’ Dirk asked.<br/><br/>Karkat thought about it. ‘Yes. Yes, you can,’ he answered.<br/><br/>Dirk went to him. He sat down next to Karkat, taking off his shades. ‘Do I still get a chance?’ he asked quietly.<br/><br/>‘Yeah. You do,’ Karkat said. Dirk’s shoulders relaxed in relief. ‘You only get one,’ Karkat warned.<br/><br/>‘I won’t waste it,’ Dirk promised.<br/><br/>‘It’ll be hard. I’ll take everything I can take from you,’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>‘I know and I want you to take everything from me,’ Dirk said.<br/><br/>‘What’s wrong with you?’ Karkat muttered.<br/><br/>‘Nothing. I just want you,’ Dirk said. He looked so fucking *earnest*.<br/><br/>Karkat scrubbed his face. He could feel how warm his cheeks were. Fuck. Why was this getting to him? ‘Fuck,’ he mumbled. Dirk watched him. Karkat could hear his breathing in the silence. He sucked in a breath. He moved his hands away from his face, lifting his head. Karkat met Dirk's eyes. 'One,' he declared, 'one chance. You get one chance and if you drop it, you won't get another one.'<br/><br/>'I understand,' Dirk said. Karkat breathed out. Dirk watched him. ‘Can I kiss you?’ he asked. ‘On the cheek?’ he added quickly.<br/><br/>Karkat’s breath hitched. He lowered his hand. He looked at Dirk. He considered him. Should he? ‘Yes,’ Karkat answered. Dirk bent down and Karkat tilted his head up. Dirk’s lips pressed against Karkat’s cheek. Karkat’s eyelashes fluttered. Dirk moved away. Karkat opened his eyes. He stared at Dirk. Why was this *getting* to him? His tongue felt heavy. Karkat tilted his head up.<br/><br/>He pressed a kiss against Dirk’s lips then moved away. ‘Don’t waste this,’ Karkat said intently.<br/><br/>Dirk stared at him shocked. ‘I-I won’t,’ he said hoarsely. The thought of kisses from Karkat now, asked for, allowed and <em>given </em>freely really did taste sweeter. ‘Will I still see you after you graduate?’ he asked softly.<br/><br/>‘Yeah, you still have to prove you’re worth it right?’ Karkat said.<br/><br/>Dirk smiled. ‘Yeah, I do. And I will.’ Karkat snorted. His eyes softened. They’ll both see.</p>
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